“Grief is love with nowhere to put it.” These words from keynote speaker Nicea DeGering, Emmy award-winning host on ABC4’s morning show Good Things Utah, set the tone for this year’s Grief and the Holidays program. The event was hosted by Caring Connections, a non-profit organization that is part of the College of Nursing and provides grief support and education. The event was held at the University of Utah College of Nursing on November 11 and included two musical performances by Missy Lynn.
DeGering shared her deeply personal journey through the loss of her father, who passed 24 years ago when she was pregnant with her first daughter, and her mother, who died earlier this year. She reflected on the fragile days that followed each loss and the milestones she faced without them. She recounted moving through birthdays, family traditions, and everyday moments feeling unsteady, sometimes without tears and sometimes overcome by waves of grief. Months after her mother’s passing, the full weight of the loss hit her, and she cried for weeks, learning to navigate a grief that would not follow a predictable timeline. Her reflections underscored the value of spaces where people can navigate loss together.
DeGering reflected on the lessons grief had taught her. “First, you are allowed to grieve. Days, weeks, months, and years after losing someone,” she said. “You can’t skip the process or go around it, and you wouldn’t want to.” She added that crying is not something to apologize for, but a natural expression of the love that remains. Speaking of her mother, she shared, “I've learned that someone can be exactly where they are supposed to be, with my dad, and I can still desperately miss them. I've learned to be more patient with myself.”
She also described how grief and memory can live in small gestures, recalling the red poppies her mother had purchased to brighten her own living space before passing. After her mother’s death, those same poppies became a lasting symbol of love and presence. Each morning, seeing them on a table outside her window reminds DeGering of her mother’s joy and resilience, allowing her to feel connected while continuing forward in her own life.
Jen Clifton, associate dean for practice and community collaboration, acknowledged the courage it takes to attend an event like this. “The holidays can be a beautiful time of connection and memory, but they can also be a painful reminder of those we’ve lost,” she said. “Whether your grief is something new or something you’ve carried for years, it takes strength to show up, to be present, and to seek comfort and community.” Clifton highlighted the impact of gathering together, noting that support groups, counseling, and shared experiences allow people to witness one another’s stories and recognize that grief is not something to fix, but something to carry together.
Laura Bradbury, director of Caring Connections, offered guidance for moving through the holidays while grieving and introduced the C O P E acronym as a framework for support. She explained that C stands for compassion for self, encouraging people to be gentle with themselves and to use grounding reminder phrases during difficult moments. O stands for open communication, which invites connection by letting others know what feels manageable and what does not. P stands for planning, a way to prepare for unpredictable emotions and to think ahead about moments that may be challenging. E stands for engagement, which includes staying connected to meaningful practices, relationships, and sources of comfort.
Bradbury also closed the program by highlighting Caring Connections’ grief literacy initiative, which equips people with the knowledge and tools to support those who are grieving. She encouraged attendees to explore the initiative’s Instagram page for tips on offering compassion, navigating difficult moments, and supporting others through loss.
For those seeking a way to honor a friend or family member who has died, she suggested creating a memorial space through a donation and a tile on the Caring Connections memory wall, preserving their name and memory. She also reminded attendees that support groups are available for anyone looking to connect with others experiencing grief.
Caring Connections, founded in 1997, provides evidence-based grief care through clinician-led support groups, professional education, and community resources. Its mission is to increase grief literacy, foster compassionate communities, and provide education for students and health care professionals. This program exemplified that mission, blending personal stories, practical guidance, and connection, offering insight and comfort for anyone navigating loss during the holidays. The full keynote and discussions are available on video linked above for those who want to experience the program in its entirety.
